Prince charming

I have to thank not only the universe but my friend Gregg Chapman for today's blog.

What does a didgeridoo healer and prince charming have to do with one another you might ask?

Good question.

As I asked what to write today, I was drawn to the facebook photo compelation on the front of the Get a Life! website, and Gregg's facebook profile photo jumped out at me. Whilst I'm sure his lovely wife Gina would say he's a prince charming ( that's right isn't it Gina?) that's not the reason I thought about writing about prince charming today.

This was the reason!
Please forgive me Gregg for sharing your love of dressing up like Adam Ant with the World (what a great likeness and what a great fancy dress costume... it was fancy dress right Gregg???)

Having done an interview this morning with a national newspaper talking about size,weight, women and how we feel, I wanted to write about
how men can also be effected by societal judgement. How they too can feel like they don't "measure up" to the so called "success" of  the hero footballer, the famous recording artist or perhaps they're just not wearing the latest in high end fashion label and how that can affect their self esteem, their self worth and their ability to be the man they were born to be.

It's not only women that can suffer low self esteem, or feel pressured to conform.

I have to admit I'm a bit of an Adam Ant fan, he was plastered all over my bedroom was as a teenager in the 80's.

He's not you're conventional dresser, its true ( but then in the 80's lots of men wore lipstick and eye liner, afterall it was the new romantic era)

•  If we listen to the words of  the song.....
  
  Don't you ever, don't you ever
  Stop being dandy, showing me you're handsome
  Don't you ever, don't you ever
  Stop being dandy, showing me you're handsome
  Prince Charming
  Prince Charming
  Ridicule is nothing to be scared of
  
  Don't you ever, don't you ever
  Stop being dandy, showing me you're handsome
  Don't you ever, don't you ever
  Lower yourself, forgetting all your standards
  Don't you ever, don't you ever
  Lower yourself, forgetting all your standards
  Prince Charming
  Prince Charming
  Ridicule is nothing to be scared of
  
  Don't you ever, don't you ever
  Stop being dandy, showing me you're handsome
  Silk or leather or a freather
  Respect yourself and all of those around you
  Silk or leather or a freather
  Respect yourself and all of those around you
  Prince Charming
  Prince Charming ...
  Don't you ever, don't you ever
  Lower yourself, forgetting all your standards
  
  Don't you ever, don't you ever
  Lower yourself, forgetting all your standards
  Prince Charming
  Prince Charming
  Ridicule is nothing to be scared of
  Don't you ever, don't you ever
  Stop being dandy, showing me you're handsome
  
  It urges us to be ourselves, no matter what, be true to who we are, never to be afriad to be the full version of ourselves, not to comprimise to fit to someone elses standards.  To show respect for ourselves and everyone around us, not to be in judgement of the way someone looks, or the background they come from.
  
  What I also love, is the video; based of course on cinderella, but with a twist on the tale, instead of focussing on cinderella's insecurities, its examining Prince Charming's.
  
  Maybe in society we expect men to always be the confident ones.To always know their own mind and not be afraid to follow it. Men are just as likely to suffer from low self -esteem as their female counterparts.
  
  Characteristics of Genuinely Low Self Esteem
• Social withdrawal
• Anxiety and emotional turmoil
• Lack of social skills and self confidence. Depression and/or bouts of sadness
• Less social conformity
• Eating disorders
• Inability to accept compliments
• An Inability to see yourself 'squarely' - to be fair to yourself
• Accentuating the negative
• Exaggerated concern over what you imagine other people think
• Self neglect
• Treating yourself badly but NOT other people
• Worrying whether you have treated others badly
• Reluctance to take on challenges
• Reluctance to put yourself first or anywhere.
• Reluctance to trust your own opinion
• Expecting little out of life for yourself

Many reasons many influence a persons feeling of self worth and self esteem. But its is important that if you recognise yourself ticking off the list above, that  a change is required, that support is available and that ultimately you are a beautiful soul that possibly just needs to remember how to feel that.

Some alarming statistics from The Mental health foundation:

• Mixed anxiety and depression is the most common mental disorder in Britain

• Women are more likely to have been treated for a mental health problem than men

• Suicides rates show that British men are three times as likely to die by suicide than British women

This may suggest that women are far more likely to seek advice or help if their low self- image, low self- esteem  should it begin to affect their everyday life, in those cases that lead to depressive illness. Men on the other hand it would appear suffer in silence.

Now I'm not saying that all low self esteem leads to depression and mental illness but there are some very interesting findings in this Review of Self-Esteem Research

In both my therapy and coaching work, I find that the pressures of life in 2012 really are affecting self esteem and self worth. The push harder and longer, the striving to achieve, really is having a detrimental effect on how so many people see themselves.

Thankfully there are lots of great coaches, therapists, writers,trainers and all round caring, loving, jolly good folk, that are starting a ripple in this world to change that .Thanks to their collective work we can re-focus , re-group, and be helped  to remember who we truly are ( magnificient beings and of course prince and princess charming's) 
I urge you today to consider how you might  keep raising the self-love vibe, and in turn the major love vibe of you, me and the collective whole.

Until next time,
make every juicy, gorgeous moment count,
Lisa x

p.s. if you wish to contact me and talk about any of the topics raised in this blog, please email me :)